Monday, August 22, 2011

in the margins

Sometimes you can find me here
If you are looking
This is my nothing place
Safe from the pain
Safe from feeling
I have a corner here, lonely
I can turn my face from God
And grieve alone
Refusing the comfort
That I do not deserve
Untouchable to the world
That others inhabit
Bearing invisible marks
That circle my heart like
Barbed wire

Sometimes you can find me here
Wrapped in an untamed love
Too much to bear
Too much to witness
Spiraling and rampaging
Uncomfortably numb
Absent then weeping
When no one is looking
Of eyes prying
And words too fallow
I smile at you vacantly
But you only see the curves
Of my lips
And not the dullness in my eyes

Sometimes you can find me here
Haunting the edges of your happy
You taught me too well
That love is never enough
Yet, that is what I long for
Out here
In the dark, In the cold
I spend time going through
All the motions of life
I eat, breathe, talk, pray
I cannot feel the emotions of life
In my corner
Even though suspicious and wary
I tried to leave this place
Place my faith in what I read
To give is to receive
Love and be loved
Never too late to follow the commandments
And yet, I was forsaken
Only to return

Sometimes you can find me here
Huddling on the edge
Arms wrapped tight across my chest
In a vow of self protection
I weave callousness from the inside
Avoiding the light and the rain
Most days
And then
I awake to a day dawning pretty
Every once in a while
I have to fight the impulse to call you
Although I know you
Can’t be bothered to answer
I try or I cry
Both the same
In the end

Sometimes you can find me here
Even though I gave you
All that I had
You don’t bother to look for me
So my numbness gives way
To an encasing darkness
A forever feeling that
I cannot
And don’t deserve to be loved
You can always find me here
Heartbroken and watching life
Go on around me
From the margins

© Navypoet

Sunday, August 14, 2011



Am waiting in your margins

Waiting patiently for you

To know my thoughts and dreams

To see me as I am

Out here on the other side

Of your punctuation


Am waiting in your margins

Living beyond the ink

I imitate memories

That I do not own

Of you saying love in

Penciled echoes


Lie just outside your margins

Naked and sumptuously warm

Waiting on the touch

Formed in flesh memories

Capturing in sepia tones

Charcoal shadows


Linger in the margins

In an imperfect light

Speaking to God

Of how my heart wants

To find promised favor

And printed solace


Will remain here in the margins

Needing to be called to you

And it is cold on the outside

Of your arms

But like a word once written

I will always be yours

© NP 8/14/11