Peniel

Peniel

“And Jacob called the name of the place Peniel: for I have seen God face to face, and my life is preserved.” Genesis 32:30

I

Wrestled

Through the nites

From the edge of

My hard heartedness

Afraid to go forward

And afraid to go backwards

I could not let go of your hand

For he had already gone away

Leaving me feeling unloved and adrift

The touch on my hip spread across my skin

Fiery pain kept me from sleeping

So I prayed pleas for your mercy

Your silence left me hopeless

In my humility

I could only weep

Separated

From my heart

Broken,

Your

Name

I called

In the dark

Deep where I sought

Words of forgiveness

Only to receive your

Silent indifference

Yet my struggle continued

I railed against the denials

That I, who only desired love

Would be denied such from you who are love

Did I not give faithful and earnest prayers?

Repentfully confessing my sins?

Ignoring the pain of my flesh

Living in bewilderment

I held her tight to me

Seeking my blessing

Inside the ink

Finally

I knew

I

Had

Been heard

And my name called

Within many dreams

Permanent blue marks me

Approaching the end of dreams

I am that which was given me

The sum perseveringly prevails

I will ever be his navypoet