Lessons

Is there an accident

Waiting to fall on my head

Around the next corner

I think so

For I still bear the dents

From such debris

A small drop of melted wax

Hot to the touch

A needle hidden in the carpet

And lying in the fence post

A small splinter of wood

Waiting to kiss a straying hand

As when I was a child

I want to be innocent

Of the perils that stand watch for me

To wander by each day

I do not want to know

That I take a risk upon each rising

Out of the bed for breakfast

I don’t want to be afraid

And I don’t want to be alone

Unprepared and accidently I am

Unexpectedly so

I want to get up with the sun

Smiling and ready to play

Expecting that my friends will still like me

Despite the mean things

I said yesterday

About cooties

I want to know that when I get home

There is safety and warmth

Waiting on me behind the door

To envelop me in arms

And not the silence I hear

There are scars on my legs

From bicycle accidents

Burns on my wrist from touching

A lamp without a cover

My skin is a map

Of uncarefullness

Singed from wrapping myself

Around your light

But my deep in the dark scar

Lies just under that

Covered completely

Like so many failures

Unseen

I can only kick at the clods

Standing around the open grave

Mirrored in my eyes

I need to bury my broken heart

And say last rites

But I live without notice

Painfully raw

The beating is stilled, teacher and

I have finally learned the lesson

That hurts way too much

To speak out loud

“I am not worth loving”

Pregnexpectations

Pregnexpectations

Nurtured in my bosom

Ample secrets

Bearing the words of blue

I contemplated

A fulfritioning of time

Trimestered with pleasure

And divided by days end

While each movement

And every slight flutter

Bore a witness to

That which consumcrated

Within aortein passages

Love

Growing

For three long years I held

My heart for you

Atop the fullness

Rounding out my hip

With always happy at my fortunancy

And only some days of

The nocturnailments

That brings tears to your eyes

For every birth is witnessed

By pain

Heartaches and sadness

At the turn of the turn of the hour

When the moon was full

My time drew near

And with bags packed

Intending to bewithed

I met a handsome stranger

On the road south

Bearing swathords in hands

Words cut through muscle and tissue

The abotcherist excised

All the wombcord from my dreams

Leaving my love gasping

Raggedly clinging for life

And floating in amniolucent blues

All the pieces needed for creation

Were left fallow inside

I am sybioxplusing

As I can only wait for the

Final miscarriage of my

Pregnexpectations

Home

It’s been many weeks

I still can’t sleep

Too many mornings

I awake to tears

Coursing down my cheeks

And I go ahead and cry

Until my eyes are dry

And I get you out my mind

Put on my mask for the day

So I won’t hear anyone say

Are you ok?

And I know I must hide

They need not know

I am still falling

Through time and space

In a life’s rat race

Without mooring

Or a place

To call home

The armor I wear

When I leave the door

Is cheery and bright

Sexy and tight

A uniform to make people

Think that I’m alright

When the truth is clear

If you look in my eyes

The darkness is still there

And not deep inside

But brimming at the corners

Waiting to spill over

At the mention of your name

I don’t want to hear

It’ll get better with years

Time has no meaning

While my heart is bleeding

And I can’t catch my breath

Step by step

I walk a path

Strewn with broken glass

Reflecting the pain

Prisms of light

Rainbows in the rain

And the road does not

Take me home

The bridge ahead

Is one I must cross

And burn down behind me

To get through this lost

But the warning sign ahead

Says ice danger is near

When the rest of the pavement

Seems surprisingly clear

Danger, poor traveler

Use caution to cross

I am scared to move forward

I can’t go back

There is nothing left there anyway

Not since a fateful

October day

When a wind tore down the walls

And left me out here

A hollow heart

Without a home